i’m freakin’ out

There is a very fine line in blogging.  I really desire to be transparent and honest… but if I wrote all the things that are in my head, you probably wouldn’t want to come back.

It reminds me of how pastors will talk about being “real” in church.  A”Sunday School answer” is when you answer, “Fine,” when asked “How are you?” but you’re really reeling inside.   Yet, there is a time and a place for the real answers. The thirty-second “hug your neighbor” on Sunday morning that is wedged between “finishing the hymns” and “sit down to listen” isn’t the time for telling all.

I say all that to say that …. * deep breath * …. the last few days have been tough.  I’ve had to spend extra time at school on projects.  I need a laptop/desktop computer of my own (for school/webdesign) so I have been out price comparing.  This alone is funny.  Here I am in the stores, writing down abbreviations for words I don’t know, comparing things I don’t understand, so I can get the best deal on something I’m undecided about.

Goodwill stuff stacked to the left and our dining table covered with chaosMore time away from home, means many things. It means I miss my kids. It means things are not in order. It means my menu board isn’t being used enough because I’m not cooking every meal because I’m not home. It means laundry needs to be folded. It means … things are a mess.

and did i mention….. i REALLY miss my kids?

(rabbit trail….. I think that has to be the hardest part of thinking about any of my children being in traditional school. I would So miss them.  I would miss interacting with them on a daily basis.  I would miss being a part of their daily lives. I would miss seeing them at lunch and having the chance to go to the park at 1:30 when we’ve finished school and need an outdoor break. I would truly, truly miss them.)

clutter clutter clutterI don’t function well in chaos. Right now, the plants are inside because it’s been cold outside. They sit by the doors waiting to be put back out soon because, even in the winter, they don’t spend many days in the house. My husband is out of town, so there’s a “hole” where he belongs. The bunny is in a cage that hasn’t found a permanent home yet. The kitten is also in a cage, because she’s in heat and making us all crazy. And I’m purging/spring cleaning so I have a STACK of stuff for Goodwill, so that mess is piling up. Every child’s room in this home is a mess.  In fact, my bedroom, the laundry room and the bathrooms are the only clean spots in the house.

So, I just wanted to share that things are a mess here at our home.

But, I know this is just a short little season.

I’ll take my stuff to Goodwill. My kids will clean their rooms (today!).  The kitten is going to live somewhere else soon. The bunny will move to a permanent spot. The party room will be finished. Spring will arrive. And things will be better.

How are things at your house?

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