We have no control

Life is so full of opportunities to be frustrated and angry.
There are so many things that can set people off.
This list could include being upset about
spilling soda on your shirt
stubbing your toe
being cut off in traffic
being late because someone else took their time
being laughed at by a stranger
having your wallet stolen
getting a flat tire
being stiffed by a customer
having someone share your secret
a parent who looks the other way while you are injured
physical abuse
identity theft
sexual abuse

I’ve always talked with my children about this fact,
but lately it’s become much, MUCH more prevalent in our conversations.
And I was thinking about it last night.
I think this is the most important truth
that can most significantly influence our lives
male or female
black or white
poor or rich
Christian, Jew or Agnostic.
This simple truth is:

there is nothing in this world
that you can control
except your emotions and reactions.


We cannot control
the weather
our family
our church
the government
our surroundings
our job
our washing machine
or whether our shoes stay laced.

Granted, we do have influence
on these things.

But, control?


What we do have control over
is how we will react to situations
involving these things.

When we are wronged
we can become angry and bitter
or we can forgive and let it go.

When we are injured
we can blame another party
or we can forgive and live free.

When we lose what is rightfully ours
we can become irate and rant and rave
or we can pardon and release.

We can shake our fists and scream “why me?”
or we can accept that
what is done is done and choose to love.

We can point our fingers
and blame
or her
or them

but in the end

we are the one with the bitter heart
the wounded soul
the angry scowl
the lost life
lived being the victim
instead of the over comer
who chooses to watch what brings joy
spend time on the positive
and focus on the good.

Like Jesus spoke in parables, paralleling the spiritual and physical worlds, God convicts, teaches and shows me His love through daily activities or His creation.  I love to share those stories.

This is even a spiritual truth….
spiritual in that it applies to all of us
– we spirit beings –
living our lives on this earth
we claim to be “religious” or not.

God instructs us to focus on Him,
listen to Him,
spend time with Him,
watch Him,
mimic Him.

In doing so,
I am focusing on good,
spending time with a lover,
watching mercy in action,
and mimicking forgiveness.

And so, I will spend more time
making sure that my children know this truth.

It is a life lesson worth learning.
Yes, this is an important lesson.

May I make sure that my children understand it fully…
that they may stay
far from the snarled grip of blame,
but instead,
live a life of freedom and joy
the only things we can truly control
are our emotions
and reactions.


2 thoughts on “We have no control

  1. You are SO Right! If everyone we knew would ‘choose’ this… we’d all be much happier and bring peace and joy into our lives! I Love you, dear friend!


  2. I was almost 40 years old before I learned this truth..learning it and living it has brought me joy, peace, more love, and so many other things…


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