My homeschooling mother’s heart is in peril. Today is the day. School begins.
This is what must be done. That I may finish school and work, Joy must go to a building full of 450 children and be taught, instructed, befriended, directed and led by others. I must go to school and then get a job because I am now alone. I’m not the first woman to be in this position. I’m not the first homeschooling mama to be in this position. That doesn’t make it okay with me. It doesn’t make it natural. It doesn’t make it any more easy.
But, I know that nothing happens in my life that doesn’t first get God’s okay.
While not His first choice, He has allowed it.
It seems so unnatural … this letting go … of my child so young.
It is too early.
This child of mine ……… she’s only nine.
We went to Open House on Wednesday evening. The school is beautiful and right around the corner. The teachers were nice. The books were nicely laid out on the desks, waiting for the children to come and dive into them. But, I won’t be there.
I won’t be there to encourage her along. I won’t be there to talk to her about unkind words spoken, prejudices lived out or foolish decisions. We will have to talk about these topics when they come up in conversation at home long after the event has passed. Many opportunities will be lost.
That is homeschooling: living with family (home) and teaching (schooling) at the same time. The picture: a mom, wearing the proverbial apron, with children at her side. I believe it is important. For me, the choice to homeschool was a little about distaste for government control, a little about dislike for the teaching of certain topics against my beliefs and somewhat about protection of innocence …. but A LOT about wanting to instruct and mold my children’s character as they grow and develop because I believe it is my God-given privilege and responsibility. You absolutely cannot do that at a distance or in three to five hours in the afternoon and weekends.
But what I believe, does not matter. I do not have a choice. Rather than her letting go of these strings because she’s ready to reach for other things and venture away from my side, I have been forced to drop the apron to the floor. It will lie pooled at my feet by days end.
But, I trust. As I know that God has allowed this,
I know He, too, will be faithful to fill in the gaps
and use this for Joy’s good
and His glory.
And so we prepare. It’s 6:17 and she’s been up since 6:00. Excitement quietly wafts through our home. She’s marking last minute purchases. Her tousled hair that finished drying while she slept is now awry and a yawn graces her face. As I snap shots, she asks, “Please do not take photos of my crazy mane … I’m such a bedhead.”
Be thinking of us throughout the day, would you?
Thanks. And blessings upon you.