The first and second days of school have come and gone, and we’re good.
I went in with Joy Friday morning. I walked her to breakfast and we sat together while she nibbled on a biscuit, sausage and tater tot. Children sat at tables and nervously kept their eyes on their food, eating with little conversation. It was awkward, but certainly normal atmosphere for the “first day” of anything. We got to her room just in time for the bell.
And I walked away. Hours seemed to tick by slowly for me while I worked at home.
I find myself, since being a single mom, panicked at times… with the sudden flash of wonder, “Wait! Where is Joy?” She might be at the pool. She may be with away for the day. She may be in her room, playing with a friend or watching tv in the party room. And now an added place of destination, school. It takes me a minute to acclimate and remember where she is. After twenty years of almost always having the children right here beside me, it’s an odd feeling to have them in so many different places. With the bigger children, they’ve earned it. It feels right. They’re responsible and grown and able to care for themselves. For Joy, it just doesn’t feel natural. It’s an adjustment.
I do not have school on Fridays. I am sorting bills, filing paperwork and putting my desk in order. After the bills are finished, I’m on to finish my stamping table/craft area and then clearing out bookcases of years’ worth of accumulated books for homeschooling.
Upon asking Joy how school went on Friday, I expected the colloquial “fine” that would require more prying. Instead, I got an observant answer of, “I was quite surprised that it wasn’t what I had expected. It was pretty boring.” This was to be expected for the first day. The reins begin tight, to establish order. There was a good deal of talking done to explain what is expected and how things should be done. I don’t think textbooks were even cracked open. And I completely understand.
Monday brought the delving into books. She had homework. It was better. Many subjects will be review for a bit, and she needs that. We all do.
God is gracious to carry us through
that which we don’t understand,
do not like,
or do not know the way.
I do not understand, like or know my way through this,
but it is the way that we must go.
And so I trust and take another step.