Telling our stories

The surprising thing to me about blogging
has been that when you begin,
you think that you’ve entered
a safe forum to share your heart
and pour it all out.
But, unless you use a pseudonym and
write completely “undercover,”
you must be very careful what you
share,  and write
lest you injure.keys ... well-litWhile I want to share and encourage….
while I want to keep it real and be honest…
while I want to be transparent ….
I don’t want to spill important information
or divulge life details that would
wound or embarrass
those I write about.

This has made things all the more tricky,
of late,
with my current family situation.
I don’t want to speak in any way
that would be unkind.
But, I deeply desire to be honest
as I travel down this new road.

I really don’t complain very often.
Nothing good comes from complaining.
You know, people say,
“No use complaining.
It doesn’t change things.”
That’s not true.
Complaining does change things.
It puts a focus on the issue
and actually
makes things worse.
I choose to listen to Paul’s words:

Whatever is true, and noble, and right and pure…
whatever is lovely and admirable ….
if anything is excellent or praiseworthy …
think about such things.   Phillipians 4:8
These are beautiful words of encouragement and direction.
I take them to heart to steer and direct my thoughts
which influence my actions
which become my character.

And so, there is this fine line between
where I stand,
where I choose to place my focus,
and where I am walking.

The past few weeks, I have had a very difficult time blogging…..
not for lack of inspiration,
but rather I’m struggling with what is right to share.

How can I share the truth without … being too personal?
Appearing to be unkind?

Over the weekend,
I had friends point out,
that sometimes the truth
is unkind,
if it is the truth.

Last week, I poured out my heart
to a few friends
in a private note.
Letter by letter,
I pounded out the words
and shared the stories
of the untangling of my world.
It was a difficult letter to write,
but one I felt I needed to share.

Somebody
somewhere
needed to hear me….

I needed to share,
in part,
because I hurt.
I needed to share,
in part,
because the day will come
when I will rejoice.
I will rejoice because
little by little
there will be a new knitting of of the life that we wear.
And that is when I will want to have hands to hold
to rejoice with me.

So, share, I did.
Listen, they did.
It was difficult to tell.
It was hard.
I felt like a traitor.
But, I’m learning that I’m not.
I must let go.
I must step back.
And view the whole picture.
It’s been tedious,
but necessary.
My friends’ responses were gracious.

I have stories to tell
of friends
and God
at work.
I hope I can tell my story
in a way that encourages you
to also walk through your struggles
focusing upon
Whatever is true, and noble, and right and pure…
whatever is lovely and admirable ….
if anything is excellent or praiseworthy …
think about such things.

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