I’ve begun to think about my future a little bit more.
I don’t want to “work” (away from home) at all.
I want to stay home and homeschool Joy.
I want to be a wife … homemaker …. mother …. teacher.
But, what I want
and what I must do
are two different things.
So, I must seriously consider
what I will do for a living?
How will I spend my hours?
How will I make money
to care for us?
How can I work from home?
Should I work from home?
What do I really want to do?
How can I make the most money, still having flexibility to travel a little
and spend as much time with my children – especially Joy – as I can?
What has God gifted me to do?
How can these things be incorporated into my job
so that I enjoy my work and how I am blessing others?
If there is anything that I know without a doubt
it is that I love to take photographs.
I like photographing people,
but not quite as much as I like to photograph “things” –
buildings, plants, bedrooms and beaches.
I tend to pull out my camera when I “see” something that catches my eye….
a sparkle in a droplet of water,
a sweet face in a reflection,
a beam of sunlight drenching a plant or pet.
I may be driving, shopping or cleaning my bathroom sink.
I’m inspired often.
it occurred to me that I don’t actually seek out things to photograph –
I just see them … like ….. “there they are.”
What if I began to “look” for things to photograph?
The number of shots I take would increase,
but would the quality of what I shoot also increase?
Will this help me improve as a photographer?
If I “worked” at it, could I actually be good?
These thoughts have stirred within me another question: what about time?
We all have the same number of hours in a day, minutes in an hour.
If I add another thing … like reading daily …. to my life, then I must eliminate something else. Even if I do not remove something intentionally, there are only so many hours in a day. If I bring in a “new” activity, another will automatically be pushed out.
And so, what is truly most important?
What are the activities that should be consuming my time?
Where is it most important that I pour myself?
Certainly, God pierces my heart and reminds me that
HE should be first. I must read, pray and listen.
Then I must care for myself. If I am not healthy, I cannot give of myself well.
I must rest, exercise and take some time to set myself apart from everything else
so that I can rejuvenate, energize and experience.
I must give of myself to my children … share, invest, divulge, engage.
I must be here for the ordinary and the extraordinary. I must endure.
Lastly, I must give of myself to others. My community, church, neighbors,
friends, extended family, acquaintances, and the students that I live beside at school.
How can I do all of this – and add something new?
Well, I can’t. Life is give and take.
I really want to be careful of what I do with my time.
I want to live intentionally.
Personally, I find it exhausting at times.
But, life is too precious, too sweet,
too L O N G
to let it pass me by
without choosing to focus.
Where will my focus be?
In an hour?
Wherever it is, I want to bring out my camera and photograph it as I go.
I do want to add this extra activity,
and see where it leads.
I want to make a difference in the lives of others.
I want to make an impression in everything that I do.
Can I do that with my photographs?
How can I work my camera into
the picture of my future
as I strive to live my life intentionally
loving, blessing and ministering those around me?