And my oldest just spent a little over ten days in Colorado. The house wasn’t any more quiet, as he’s a fella that doesn’t create much noise. But, his absence was deeply felt while he was away. I missed and I prayed.
Now, my youngest is off at camp for a week. She was so excited to go….to swim and canoe and chapel and dine with old friends and make new ones. And I was excited for her …. but the decibel level is definitely lower without her here.
And my girl who leaves butterfly trails as she flits in …. out …. and around the house
is packing her straighteners, dozens of pairs of shoes and monogrammed swim team towels.
She will soon be moving them to
with another address
on another street
in another neighborhood
with roommates who are not blood relation.
When I became a single mom,
I couldn’t see myself telling my two oldest,
“I cannot afford to house you. You must leave”
or “I am moving and won’t have a space for you any longer.”
So, I stayed here …. and we remained together.
I think it’s important during these turbulent times
to allow my littlest the most stability I can afford her.
I did not want to uproot her from the home she’s known best and longest
with a wonderful pool and a neighborhood school within walking distance,
and the comfort that comes from familiarity
during these times that are not.
My plan was to stay here until the two oldest leave
and then my dream would be to move to a loft downtown with Joy.
Of course, dreams don’t always come true. We shall see.
She’s asking that we stay here even when we are the only two left.
We will see how God directs, but right now, we are definitely staying.
And I think of movement
coming and going
the ups and the downs
the ins and the outs
of daily, monthly, annual living.
There is always movement.
The tides rearrange sand bars just off the shore.
Termites remove limbs from forest floors.
New neighborhoods are built
and old buildings are removed
quickly by man or slowly by nature.
I still remember when we first moved to Augusta. Glory and I would go to the mall and she would hold my hand. Not that I would take hers, she would reach out and take mine. She was at least 14 years old. I noticed some people would look at us oddly from time to time, but she didn’t seem to notice. And I wouldn’t dare drop her hand. Other young girls held hands with boys and strolled the tile floors leisurely. Whether urban society embraced it or not, I was perfectly happy holding her teenaged hand and thankful that she didn’t even think it odd.
We would walk and shop and talk. She has been my friend for years.
I enjoy her. She makes me smile. She brightens my day.
Only three months ago, she bought, what she calls, her first “Grown Up Purse.” She’s had some fun, funky purses. I still remember her first real purse. It was a little black bag with small polka dots in lots of different colors. She carried it for at least a year or two. Since then, she has had many different bags, but this one, is her first purse with an adult feel. Yes, dear, you are definitely grown up.
Her decision to move is exciting. She is moving in with two sisters. These are girls from work that she adores. She won’t be terribly far away, but she’ll be on her own. I’m happy for her.
Yet, I will miss her.
I’m nervous. Thoughts are racing through my head: my time is up! Does she know that her interest rate will increase if she doesn’t pay her credit card on time? Did I mention that chicken needs to get to an internal temperature of 165 to kill food borne illness? Does she realize that how i.m.p.o.r.t.a.n.t it is to recycle … that plastic may last many hundreds of years in a landfill and glass … well, it never decomposes. Does she know to choose DEET free bug repellent? And never cut your big toe nail too short as it will cause an ingrown nail? We did cover that, second to your decision about following Christ, choosing the man you marry is the absolute most important decision you will make in your entire lifetime, didn’t we? Mmmm…. I think I’ve mentioned that one before.
Did I mention that I will miss her?
She thinks she will come home often. I know better. I already have to go to work to see her sometimes. I barely see her now and she “lives” here. It will be weeks in between visits when she’s gone.
I will miss her.
It is a natural progression. And she will do well. I pray she will be wise and that, if she’s not, she’ll be miserable. Yes, I really have and will continue to pray that. And I pray that she will be miserable so that she will turn aside from foolishness and call upon God.
But, I think she will be fine.
Yet, I will miss her.
There is movement in our home. The movement of bodies, furniture, hair straighteners
… and tears.