It’s a constant thing with me. It is the way that I think. I ask why, investigate and research. I try to form an educated, informed answer to those questions that swirl in my head. I look for answers in the spiritual, physical and emotional world.
Sometimes I notice …
and store away the information.
Years ago, I realized that I have a penchant for beginning a task
but not completing it.
To this day, I cannot figure out why this is my proclivity.
I remember years ago, when I realized that I will run a race slow and steady
only to trail off as I am within sight of the finish line.
I will almost WALK – rather than sprint, as most runners do –
through the finish line gates.
I see the goal and am satisfied enough with that sight.
I am not a competitive soul. I’d rather sit back and let someone else take a spotlight … even if I have done some or all of the work to earn that attention. I have a contentment in my heart that my rewards are not here on earth. Maybe this is why I am at ease to sit back.
So, I stood this morning at the kitchen sink, washing dishes and pondering
with the mixture of the clank of silver tines and stainless pots
upon my ceramic coated, cast iron sink
with running water stirring our sweet birds to loud song
of praise or complaint …. I’m never quite sure.
Bubbles and sponge working to cleanse
grease and crumb of another meal.
I prepared to take off my gloves and squeeze the last bit of water from the sponge.
And I stopped.
The counter is still dribbled in breakfast
and there are two items left to clean.
I did not finish the job.
I was prepared to walk away and come back to finish later.
Why do I not finish my job now and be done with it?
Why do I choose to walk away and come back to half finished job
when I could complete my job and be content and pleased with a
clean kitchen … ready for another meal, a guest, a searching body that will soon come in to
scour and search for a morsel of nourishment because it’s been two hours since last satiated?
I make myself leave my gloves on. I make myself wipe down the counter.
I make myself clean the George Foreman grill
and the ancient copper-bottomed pot that has boiled chicken, soup and pasta.
I cleanse crumb and crust from my yellow formica
that was cut and laid when this house was built forty years ago
and whose color is now again fashionable in homes.
And THEN I take off the gloves.
And head off to finish other jobs of culling and cleaning for the day
pleased and proud
knowing that I FINISHED the job.
It took extra effort, but I did it.
I want to dig deep and cleanse.
I have too much.
I want things simple and uncomplicated.
It’s time to clean things up and out.
It’s time to work until I finish.
It’s time to challenge myself to
see each finish line …
and sprint to the end
…. one race at a time.