Honestly?

My sweet Glory has been so incredibly gracious to loan me her car off and on …. for months …. as I’ve battled the demons within the engine of my van …. it limping in and out of the shop for months now.

Not so long ago, I came across a bottle of commonly used weight loss stimulate pills in Glory’s console.  I immediately sent her a text message that went something like this:

” ‘Scuse me.  You do realize that a VSD is a HOLE between the CHAMBERS of your HEART. It probably ISN’T a good idea for you to take a STIMULANT like {product name} since you’re already HIGHLY caffeinated.  I’m thinking this could be a really good way to DIE.”

I know. I’m dramatic.  She’s used to it.

She quickly texted me back to tell me that the bottle belonged to one of the girls that worked with her. I was quick to tell her to pass along the message to the girl that products like this really aren’t GOOD  for anybody …. whether you have a hole in your heart or not.

(Fast forward a few weeks)

I’m in Glory’s room cleaning up for a guest that will be staying in her room.  (You know what’s coming, don’t you?) I’m dusting and vacuuming.  Because her shelves are so empty, I was searching through her closet to see if she left behind anything that I could put on her shelving so her room would look less …. forlorn and abandoned.

There in the back left hand corner of her closet’s top shelf
was the {product name} box.

.

.

.

.

.

She lied to me.
She told me what she thought I wanted to hear
rather than being truthful.
“She just couldn’t tell me the truth right then.”

I’ll be honest.
I was … very sad.
I was disappointed.

But, I love Dr. James Dobson’s advice to never put any person on a pedestal
because one step in any direction
will cause them to fall to the ground.

Years ago, when my children were still small tots, God released me.
It was such a freeing thing.
See, once I had children, I felt this incredible need
to take better care of myself and be less risky,
because I had to be around to care for and raise my children.
I had a deep fear of dying
because I knew I had a responsibility to raise my children.
It wasn’t a natural thing.
It was a little extreme.  It was truly a fear.
But, I remember when I heard someone say that
God is a better Mother than I could ever be.
I knew then, that even if I were to die, my children would be okay.
God loves them more than I do
and could do a better job of raising them than I ever could.
He has their best in mind and, though bad things happen, I didn’t need to fret.
He would be their Mother and their Father, if need be.

If I’m an adult  …  a parent …. a grown up
and I fail as miserably as I do,
then why shouldn’t I be gracious and EXPECT my own children to fail?
A pedestal is not where they belong.
They will make mistakes.
And all of my fretting and worrying and controlling
will smother them
more than give them the freedom to grow.

So, rather than expecting perfection
and taking it personally when they fail,
I try to take it in stride when I see them making mistakes.

A day or two after I found the box, Glory stopped by the house.  She flitted around and we talked and caught up on life.  When things settled down, I went into her room and picked up the box.  I called her into her room. She walked in. I held it out and said, “You lied to me.”  It was hard – for both of us.  We talked … but mostly, I gave her a speech.  (I give VERY few of these) It was short, but it was real. I told her never to lie to me … never …. ever … ever.

It is so much more important to me to be honest
than it is for me to please you…. or anyone.
I want her to grasp that.

Glory, I love you.
You’re wonderful. You’re charming. You have nothing to hide.
I’d rather watch you fail ….
than find that you’ve lied to cover up wrongdoing.
You can’t please everyone. You won’t always please me.
I’m okay with that.  You need to be, also.
Be yourself.  Do what you know in your gut … in your heart to be right.
And when you fall, be honest about it.
You know the betrayal of having been lied to.
Don’t perpetuate that trait.
You’re MUCH too beautiful for that.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s