I wake with the sun on Sunday morn,
the last night warmer than the one before.
I slept well in my van-turned-hardshell-tent/camper.
A full night’s sleep is a pleasant present
for a woman who pitters out early in the day.
I lie there on my back, watching stars through the slightly damp windows
inside the protective bubble of my van
me locked safely inside
with whatever and whomever roaming about on the outside ….
a full moon overhead
which keeps the critters and varmits rummaging until daybreak
as their green and brown world is well lit by God’s monthly night light.
I begin to think of the lake at the end of one of the trails
and realize there are a few clouds overhead.
It would be a beautiful morning to jump on the bike
and ride to that place ….
that place that I didn’t make it the day before
because I lost my way and ran out of energy,
turned around and headed back out of fear.
There should be morning clouds that will
be burned off by the sun shortly.
It will be beautiful
the evaporating of that mist,
the reflection on the water
of the trees blazen in rust, amber and olive
encircling that slick, liquid mirror.
I check my clock.
It’s just past four a.m.
and a bit earlier than I thought.
Maybe the sun didn’t wake me.
None-the-less, excitement has brought me to full alert state,
so I quietly creep out of the van, dress and start a pot of java.
I will go soon….
me on my bike with
cameras, a flashlight, a snack and a map.
I reflect on my inability to be still,
not unlike my own earthly father.
Marthas are hailed on this earthen world
for all that they “do.”
But my Lord … flesh from my Heavenly Father
…. He rebuked Martha
and said that Mary was doing the good thing
…. her at His feet …. ears attentive …
eyes watching ….. heart focused on the excellent.
She chose fellowship
can be a curse.
I have a hard time sitting still.
I want to go and do and see.
While I love going and doing
starting, finishing, accomplishing,
meeting, seeing, touching, creating.
I need, need, need to spend time with Him.
with all my being. I “pray without ceasing.”
I talk to God all day. I ask the Holy Spirit
to lead, guide and direct me.
I thank Jesus for holding my hand.
and I listen to His promptings.
But there is a sweet love letter that was written to me
by my Father,
that I seldom open.
I still remember the very first verse of scripture that I memorized.
We lived in New Bern, North Carolina.
I worked at Branch’s Office Supply store.
I put the verse on my desk and looked at it often
until I could recite it from memory.
Twenty years ago now, that verse has rested in my mind,
nestled safely in my heart.
Of what good is it
if this is the ONLY verse that I remember by heart
with the address attached?
….. a single verse that reiterates
my desire to know more.
God uses creative ways to get our attention. If we are so busy that we do not listen, He will get our attention. He will make us be still. He will sit us down. He will cause us to lie on our backs and look up. Oh, how I want to be obedient and still and listen …. rather than Him deciding He must sit me down for a talk.
This is what happens in MY life. I sit down to read and get so excited that I want to know more. I pull out a thesaurus and a concordance and my Strong’s. I cross reference and dig and ten minutes turns into an hour and a half and I am late for …. some responsibility because I didn’t use self-control. It’s a glorious thing. I learn and bask and ruminate. And I begin my day
So, I tend to not open The Book at all.
Let me make a public challenge to myself. I won’t wait until Monday to start … or until tomorrow …. but today. And I will only make a vow for now until Thanksgiving. I will read fifteen minutes a day. I will use a timer so that I read no more and no less. No concordance. No Strong’s. Just me, Him and His Word.
I can do this.