I sit in my chair
in my corner
in my room,
faithful companion at my feet.
I take with me, a cup of coffee with
Vanilla Rum Creamer and a sprinkle of Pumpkin Pie Spice
and a sweet gift from friends that feel a world away …
a gracious slice of Rum Cake created by Baskin hands with l♥ve
and sent home to me from an Atlanta Thanksgiving gathering of yesterday
by way of my sweet man/child, James.
The sun struggles to filter through the clouds outside my window
and I think of the last month.
I feel the stretching.
I feel the molding.
I feel the softening of the harsh attitude towards myself
through the Holy Spirit’s influence on my life.
I shared that I felt compelled to read The Word daily.
I admitted that I have read … seldom.
My goal was to read until Thanksgiving day –
a total of twenty-nine days.
I reached my goal.
Slowly and out loud, I have read each of these books
from beginning to end:
and Hosea (twice).
In ONE month. I am in shock.
I am flabbergasted. floored. astounded.
WHAT if I had been reading my Bible for fifteen minutes a day
for my entire life?
Or from the day I married?
Or since my first child was born?
How many times would I have read through it’s
richness? wealth? beauty? wisdom?
How much better a wife could I have been?
How much more Godly a mother would I have been?
How much more fully would I know and understand God?
Only God knows.
I am proud to say that I skipped one day
but didn’t completely throw out my goal.
That was one of the days that we had company. I got up early and didn’t read my Bible first. I got busy doing the things that had to be done that day. I went to school and then to the hospital to visit Madpie. By the time I got home, I was exhausted. I t.r.i.e.d to read, but my mind w.a.n.d.e.r.e.d. I pulled myself back. Then I realized I … still … wasn’t … listening … even though I was reading out loud. I reeled myself back in again. Finally …
I closed the Book.
Here’s the “stretch.”
With my legalistic, “crash and burn” mentality, generally, I would have allowed myself to listen to that nasty little voice that told me the next morning to *whispers* “quit.” I had failed. I hadn’t reached my goal. I couldn’t do it. Just give it up. Stop. Forget it.
Rather, I decided the next day to alter my commitment
… not JUST to fifteen minutes a day
… but that I would always read my Bible in the morning.
And as an act of reverence and putting God first, I read it
before I check Facebook, before I look at my email and before I post here
or read God’s message to me through Ann’s words.
You have NO idea how BIG that is.
Which is a pitiful, pathetic, pithy shame …
but the truth …
the honest, bare, transparent truth.
I won’t make some mammoth claim that I will continue this for life,
or make it a year-long goal.
I know better.
I live day by day, month by month.
So, I will make another goal
that I feel won’t overwhelm me
but will stretch my “crash and burn” self.
I will continue to read my Bible,
God’s Holy Infallible, way-out-of-my-scope-of-understanding Word,
(1) for fifteen minutes a day,
(2) before I do anything else (well …. except make a pot of coffee :D)
(3) until the end of the year.
I think I’ll go make some more stickers for my wall.
Want to join me?