Someone stole my jon boat

I’ve been having a really hard time getting to sleep the last few weeks. Some nights, I get to sleep on time but then wake up to *blink blink blink* at the ceiling in the darkness for several hours before I am able to settle back down.

At 12:15 am last night, I was proud to be sleeping soundly when I heard someone dragging a jon boat around the end of the house. I wondered how they would hoist it up over the fence … unless of course, there were two thieves working in cohorts. Had they looked closely?  The chain link fence on this end of the house has no gate. As my ears honed in on the flexing metal, I realized that we were finally receiving some much-needed rain. HA! The burglar is getting soaked while he plunders.

I listened intently and tried to figure out EXACTLY what was happening outside. Knowing that we HAVE no jon boat to steal, I decided to open my bedroom door and meet this rustler face-to-face so I could see what he really was attempting to gain on the sly.

All that racket?  …. with flashlight in hand and hood pulled up over her ponytail, ’twas my oldest girl/child. She was coming out from under the crawl space of the house (which has an unwieldy metal entry door that is almost DIRECTLY underneath my bed) digging out cat care items … litter box and cat carrier type. Not knowing I was there, she jumped with a startle when I asked, “WHAT are you doing!!??”  She handed me the maglite and asked me to illuminate the metal door while she tried to wrestle it into place. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that a big, black roach was teetering on the brickwork eighteen inches above her head. “Okay,” I agreed while I bit my lip and prayed that roach would stay put. If the neighbors weren’t awake, they certainly would be when she screamed and ran through the yard in the rain. And I wondered just how long it would be before a clap of thunder set off the neighbor’s car alarm which would simply add dimension to the wonder of the night.

You KNOW the girl wants to take a cat badly if she’ll brave RAIN
(which is accompanied by thunder and lightning- her trembling fear)
at midnight
when Palmetto bugs crawl down from the tree crevices and explore the world
in order to retrieve a pet carrier.

Glory moved out about a year ago. She lived with two girls who were sisters. Just as much as she enjoyed living with them in the beginning, she struggled in the end. One sister is a great deal like Glory, in my opinion (doesn’t mind telling people what to do – a wonderful quality … but doesn’t work well when there are two trying to fill that role) and the other is … well … Glory affectionately called the other room-mate her “Five year old BFF room-mate” for quite a while. She’s incredibly silly and fun. She’s quirky and oh.so.witty. But, just as deep as their gregarious endearment for each other, their contempt for each other was the same when they disagreed.

After the girls had been living together for a bit, Glory took Brier to live at the apartment. She’s been very fond of Brier since Brier first came to live with us. And Brier is pretty low maintenance. She has no front claws so she doesn’t hurt furniture. She’s very laid back. There is no issue with spilling, digging or making messes. She’s a sleeper and a lover. BUT, she has some odd intestinal issues. When she’s fed cheap cat food, she will vomit. And she can’t have any kind of “people” food – especially milk.  And evidently, her stomach acts up when she’s under stress.

Not long after Brier went to live with the girls, the Five Year Old BFF got a kitten. My understanding is that the kitten … acted very much like …  a kitten. He was rambunctious and quite the teaser. He was notorious for knocking over glasses of any  beverage. He plundered and played. He was … acting his age and species.

Brier began to eat the kitten food and then had some stomach issues. She threw up several times … even in the roommate’s room.  This caused the room-mate to fall into a tail spin.

So, late one evening, after being cussed out by text message by the kitten’s mom, Glory came in with Brier in her arms …. sobbing the tears of a brokenhearted mom. She said the stress was too much and she couldn’t take it any more. Glory hated the room-mates kitten and the room mated hated Brier. I’m proud of Glory. She took the high road and brought Brier back home.

Strangely enough, Brier hasn’t thrown up since that day.

….. fast forward ….

A few weeks ago, Glory moved into a new apartment. She has one room-mate, which, in my humble opinion, is always better than two. When Glory was growing up, my rule was (per Dee Brestin’s advice in the wonderful book Friendships of Women) “one – OR – three or more.”  We would never have TWO girls over to play with Glory because there would ALWAYS be one girl left out. It’s the way we are built, we women. We cling. We gravitate. We group. And when there are three girls in a group, there is one left out.

Glory’s new room-mate, River, has been off on a trip. While she has been away, Glory has been lonely (being the social chicka that she is).  With a thunderstorm overhead, she decided she needed to swing by after work to pick up her girl and all the cat products necessary to do a dry run at the new apartment. She’s hoping and praying that River and Brier will hit it off well.

And, frankly, so am I. I love Brier … but Glory loves her more. I hope things will be good at the new apartment.

And I hope nobody else tries to steal my jon boat
because late night thievery is quiet unsettling ….
especially when getting to sleep in the first place
has been a real challenge.

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