Breathing during the Chaos

My life is upside down.

We have a MIL suite.   It is a building that we have used for guests, sleepovers and gatherings of all types. It’s a little like an indoor storage room because it houses all sorts of things that we don’t use every day, but don’t want to go without.

There is one entire closet dedicated to board games, one to homeschool books and one to memorabilia and craft supplies. What would be the “bedroom” in the suite, should it be used as an apartment, is my stamp room that houses my stamp table and sewing machine.

Not so long ago, Glory changed room mates, found a new apartment and moved. Not long after she settled in, she found herself in a 2:30 a.m. drug raid of her new living quarters. Thankfully, she and her room mate made it through the search clean, but the room mate’s boyfriend ended up in trouble.

When Glory called me the next morn to tell me about the excitement …. waking up to a flashlight in her face, police cars lining the street and men in blue scouring her drawers and closets, I requested that we find boxes right away and move her back home immediately. It would be the quickest way to protect her. Three days … a week or two later just didn’t feel like a safe option for her. I wanted her out right away, before she became comfortable again and something more serious happened. Within twenty-four hours, she was completely out of the apartment.

The larger furniture and apartment belongings that have accumulated over the past year and a half wouldn’t fit into her old bedroom at home, so we moved her into the party room …. on TOP of the things that were already housed there.

Chaos enveloped my home quickly. We are currently living in the equivalent of a maze. There are walking paths, rather than open rooms.

All of my art stuff has been moved into the house and organized in our fourth bedroom (an enclosed carport) and I am sifting to get rid of my extra.

I’ve been quite surprised that, in the midst of this mayhem, I’ve stayed quite calm. I’ve out of town on an extended weekend to a class reunion and had an enjoyable time. And I laid aside bedlam to travel to south Georgia to celebrate twins marching on a field field and a family of birthdays. 

See, I have a tendency to tense up and refuse to go anywhere or do anything until life is “back in order.” In the past, if there was a school project that stole away my focus for a few days and the house slipped into a shambles, I had a tendency to lay everything else aside until it was back into order. I would cancel plans made weeks prior if I didn’t feel some sense of order at home. I have, more than once, completely backed out from plans with friends in order to organize a room or put some pandemonium back into order.

Maybe this is from years of repeated moves and hating that I had no idea where my brush or bills were. Maybe it had something to do with the need for order with three little ones underfoot. I’m not sure.

But, I am sure that I continue to hear my Heavenly Father remind me to “Breathe.” I hear it over the speakers in stores and airwaves when I drive my sweet van.

I hear it from friends and read it on billboards and t-shirts and in Facebook status updates. I hear it in conversations that are within earshot. That simple word. Ann talks about it, from time to time.

b.r.e.a.t.h.e

With every breath …
we call out his name.
When we stop to calm down and
intentionally take a deep breath …
we are calling His name.

When it is quiet … listen.
When it is truly, calmly quiet, you must listen.  Early in the morn …  before children wake, cars crank and washers spin. When the sun hasn’t crept above the horizon and the only sound is that of the hum of the refrigerator … then. Listen. While still lying in bed in the morn, or just before slumbering at night … listen. For we call upon His name
whether we intend it or not.
The Hebrew name was written YHWH.
In English, we pronounce it Yahweh. (click the the link left
then click the little speaker beside the word Yahweh on the left)

breathe out … breathe in. slowly. intentionally.
and you hear it.
We call upon His name
as we breathe.
breathe out …. “yah”
breath in …. “way”

Even the word “breath” is a synonym for the word “spirit.”
As we breathe, we inhale … exhale “spirit.”

Isn’t that amazing? That He designed us to call his name
as we live … and as we do what we must do to live … as we breathe.
He designed us so that we call on His name MORE often
as tension rises … as we our pulse increases, we pant or hyperventilate.
“Yahweh”

And so, I live in chaos
and I call His name

as He reminds me to b.r.e.a.t.h.e

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Breathing during the Chaos

  1. I feel like I have chaos too – not quite so much as you but I can’t get a handle on it anymore. I am not sure why. I do think age slows us down even when our brain wants us to pick it up. I’m frustrated with my chaos so looking at your picture gives me a panic attack. But like you, I’ve walked out of my chaos to have lunch, go on a field trip, or I’ve just vegged in the midst of it if I really, really wanted to. I don’t love this time in my life so much…

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s