To be Irresistable

Sometimes … I just want to keep it light
when my thoughts are not.
I am analytical. I process. I wonder, ponder … ruminate.
Other bloggers write about tough stuff ….
but, I worry that I … should be careful.

Fear.
I let it rule my decisions sometimes.

It has occurred to me
that watching Jeff and Della’s relationship
has damaged me.
Maybe “disillusioned” might be a better word.
Maybe others don’t even see
what I see.
I see him …
watch her
and love her with his eyes.
I see her toy with him
and his response.
I see them touch
from across the room.
And I want that.

I’ve always wanted that.
But …..
I was never
nice enough
thin enough
beautiful enough
I was never enough.

Maybe all those “happily ever after”
Disney movies
where he is enthralled with her
are written by women …
like me.

My aspiration should be
that God loves me deeper, fuller, richer …
that He knows me so intimately ….
that I give myself to Him so fully …
that HE finds me irresistible.

The reality is …
He does love me that way …
no matter how I behave … or how I look.
He loves me irresistibly
and unconditionally.

I am, in fact, MORE than enough for God.

I’ve written several times about perspective
and its importance in our lives.

Some of this is seasonal … this struggle …
as my body settles into a more introspective time
and leaves behind the active, moving summer.
It’s a good thing … to think things through.
I need to embrace this settling in.

I think it’s time for another introspective fall camping trip
like this one.
One that allows me to be still and listen
and enjoy my God and His creation …
to photograph all that is beautiful, lovely and autumnal …
time to listen to His still quiet voice
and hear Him.
Because I truly want to be irresistible to Him.
I want HIM to be irresistible to me.
Praise be to God … for drawing me closer.
Ahhh … that fellowship with Him would be my greatest desire.

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5 thoughts on “To be Irresistable

  1. how I hate to make this comment only because I hate being “that” kind of person but… TV and Movies have ruined relationships for us all. I think what Jeff and Della have is unique under any circumstances. Obviously he married her for more than the requisite body, good looks, impressive brain, sex… he probably didn’t even marry her b/c she made him look good. He probably married her because he LIKED her. He just plain liked her so much that he knew his life would only be more abundant with her in it. He probably never felt embarrassed by anything she said or thought she was weird b/c she liked one thing or disliked another. And he probably always made her feel like she could say anything to him w/o feeling like he was judging her. I will bet they were truly friends before they were lovers or if not, they worked hard at becoming friends before they were partners. TV and Movies make us feel like marriage/relationships should be one way or another and if they aren’t or if they are no longer, that something can quickly be done or said to make them that way. And it’s not so.

    MJF hates cop shows b/c they make people believe that certain information can be discovered in a 1 hour period of time. He knows that week by week and year by year the public’s mind is being distorted and there will eventually be an impact because of that. We have recently seen that impact in the Casey Anthony trial. The truth is that she killed her daughter but b/c the jury refused to accept circumstantial evidence they didn’t convict her. Circumstantial evidence CAN prove w/o a doubt someone’s guilt – but the public has been led to believe via Law and Order and other shows like that, that circumstantial evidence can’t do so and that, of course, every good and worthwhile case comes up with the magic bullet every time. In reality, most cases are proved on circumstantial evidence.

    If a jury can be led astray by too many years of Law and Order could you and I be led astray as well? I yearn for the same relationship you do. I feel like I should have that relationship. But just as I begin to feel sorry for myself I have to ask myself if I yearn for it b/c it’s realistic or b/c I’ve seen it on TV too many times to count. Maybe that is why I lean toward the CSI’s and NCIS’s of TV and detest movies so much. I just really don’t want to see on a big screen someone else having the relationship that I so want.

    I have been giving a lot of thought to the relationships that I ignore Jesus for. After all isn’t he supposed to be the “lover of my soul” and my “best friend”? Both are relationships that I grieve for. Maybe I grieve b/c I am looking for them in the wrong places.

    Like

  2. I definitely find your writing and your photography irresistable! You have a great talent!!!

    God says if we DELIGHT in HIM, then HE will give us the desires of our heart!!! In other words, He will give us the desires He wants us to have and then fulfill Him. Lean deeper into Him!!!

    Like

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