Replacing His cross with my Heart

I have written Stone notes to say thank you for allowing us into his life … for sharing himself and his son.  Surely it was difficult for him to let us peek into his life – their world … a man’s world of testosterone, work, crocs with dinosaur shoe charms, rocks, camping and man-things  … women being unpredictable and full of estrogen, an uncommon element in their sphere of understanding.  After our trip to Lake Winfield Scott, I slipped a rose from the vase that graced the picnic table through out weekend of gorgeous weather and fresh air. I laid it beside the Rodeo seat as a reminder of our presence in their weekend. It would wilt before they arrived home … but so would I, missing them … Stone and Jet. On our first visit to the man-place in ATL, I left a note in the kitchen cabinet and one on the shelf inside Stone’s medicine chest …. simple little handwritten notes …  “You are wonderful” … because he is.

Before leaving home last Friday for another visit in Atlanta, I tucked a chilly, metal heart from my jewelry tree’s nest of leaves into my train case with the intention of leaving it somewhere sweet at Stone’s house before returning home … a reminder of my presence in his life.

The month before when Joy and I had gone up for our first visit, I accidentally dropped a silver cross from my purse into the floorboard of Stone’s car.  It had graced a necklace, but I had taken it off the chain earlier in the day. It is a charm that I wear often and enjoy. Stone picked it up off the floor and laid it safely in a coin holder in the console where it remained for a month.

As we packed our sweet van this past Sunday afternoon with skateboard and luggage, pillows and backpacks, I quickly slid into Stone’s clean vehicle to pick up the cross. While I tried to be stealthy, Stone stepped outside just as I was grabbing the cross. “Oh, don’t take it,” he said with a smile, “It reminds me of you when I see it.” I smiled and picked it up anyway, knowing I had a plan. Later, I slipped that steely heart out of  my front jean pocket where it was warm against my body …  and into the coin holder of his vehicle …. exchanging the cross for my heart.

Yesterday, as I thought about Sarah’s words ….
God’s words typed through the conduit of Sarah’s keyboard ….
I shared my heart with a friend in a phone conversation

and it hit me ….Like Jesus spoke in parables, paralleling the spiritual and physical worlds, God convicts and teaches me through similar daily events.

I put forth great effort in two separate motions …
two different, unrelated areas …. and
in doing so …
I made parallel motions in one fell swoop.

In the physical world, on Sunday afternoon
I intentionally removed a Cross from Stone’s vision ….

… simultaneously …

I had been striving to
to quietly …. without detection
cause my own heart … life … self
to be the center of Stone’s thought life …
because
I want to be irresistible.
I want it to be
all about me. *mourns*

Do you see that?
I had made great effort
to switch The Cross
with my own cold heart. *tear*

Not only had I been trying,
but Stone has resisted my action
and I have persisted
preferring MY reminder (a heart)
over His (a Cross).

I could see it so clearly. My desire has been to be irresistible 
to weaken him I want to be the center of his thought life
and IF I succeed in this effort to make MY heart the focus of his attention
I am successfully removing The Cross from his focus.

Lord,
please forgive me.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Replacing His cross with my Heart

  1. These are what I’ve been seeing lately on Pinterest (I know this is weird but bear with me):

    “Right now, I just want someone to kiss my forehead and tell me they are lucky to have someone like me” (Oh how I long for that as well)

    But what we should be focusing on is:

    “Don’t give up what you want most for what you want now”

    “Bind my wandering heart to Thee”

    It’s amazing what can be said in a couple sentences… that is a good lesson for me! 😉

    I love you, thanks for making me think right along with you. If you and Stone keep this up you will have to change his name to Rock and you will both end up very, very happy.

    Karen

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s