Marriage Advice

I know two dear families who celebrated marital unions this past weekend.  My friend, Elizabeth, at Yes, They’re all Ours has a son who married while my own sweet Glory was a bridesmaid in Nina’s wedding.

Maybe I have no right to give “advice” on marriage
having been unsuccessful to hold my own together.
Or possibly, my own failure
allows my advice to have more value.

Either way ….
I have given much thought to the question,
“What advice would you offer a new couple?”
and thought I would share it here.

Nina and Bryan offered a small scrapbook for wedding guests to write a note rather than the traditional “Guest Book.”  Nina is good that way – “nontraditional.”
Many people simply wrote “Best Wishes” or “Good luck.” Naturally, I offered more.

Nina and Bryan wrote their own vows. They were quite beautiful.
As I listened, the theme in my mind was ….
“Oh, if they can just walk out
these words that they are vowing.”

And so, I wrote …

“Dearest Nina & Bryan,
No matter what you have imagined,
marriage will not be what you expect.
It will be tougher.
But, if you can put action behind your vows
and walk out those ideals,
your marriage will be SO MUCH MORE!
Let God be the strength to walk you through
moment by moment
and yours will be a rich and wonderful relationship.”

And so,
my advice is so simple.
Do not hold “Disney” or “chick flick” expectations of “happily ever after.”
Anything worth having,
is worth the work it takes to create it.

Focus on God and let Him lead, guide, direct and strengthen you.
Turn to Him for your happiness and contentment.
Do not heap expectations that you have learned from any other marriage
– even a Godly, strong, happy one –
onto your own marriage.
Your union is unique through and through.
Your spouse is unlike anyone else on earth.
Use the Bible and God’s Holy Spirit
as your guide …
asking what YOUR marriage should look like
and then you will find the deep, dense, rich, delectable beauty that is
yours and only yours.
He can use our weaknesses to create strength
He can use our messes to bring glory,
and He can use mistakes to create stunning, exquisite, breath-taking beauty.
The key is to set aside OUR idea of beauty
and invite Him to create it for us.


One thought on “Marriage Advice

  1. Just now discovering this! May was a blur! 😉

    Beautiful post! Wonderful, heart-felt, honest advice!

    I have been thinking a lot lately how God gives the same principles to every married couple. His ideal is for man and woman to accurately illustrate the breathtaking union of Christ and His Church. God ordains this to be illustrated with Sacrificial Love of the man and the Sweet Submission of the wife. And yet, these very principles, lived out Perfectly, will look different in every unique union. Your post expresses that thought so well.

    many blessings,


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