I love the original Winnie the Pooh movie.
And when I hear myself say, “He moved!” I use Rabbit’s voice and inflection.
Remember when Pooh was wedged in Rabbit’s door because he filled his belly with honey
and his tummy became so full and rotund that he couldn’t exit Rabbit’s den?
After weeks, rabbit leaned over and pushed Pooh’s toosh and “He BudGed!”
The difference between rabbit and me is that my words are not “He budged!
my announcement is, “He moved! He moved!” ….
But, trust me … I have the SAME enthusiasm!!
(found at 1:39 in the video, if you would rather not watch the full clip)
I am SO thankful that my son has moved out …
but not for a reason that you might immediately expect.
I ADORE this man. He is kind and thoughtful, slow to anger and speak. He is funny beyond measure with a wit that is quick and dry. He is smart and can figure out how to take apart and/or put together almost anything. His Google-search skills are absolutely crazy! He has a real relationship with God and a heart for people. He fully understands software AND hardware. He is concrete and abstract. He is creative and detailed.
Not long after most of the boxes were packed and moved,
the front door swung open wide
and my man/child stepped inside
*spoken slowly, and firmly with intention on each word*
“Do you K.N.O.W ….. how much sponges cost??!!”
James walked in and immediately began a monologue.
The only thing missing was the soap box.
“All those years, you asked, ‘Please use an old sponge’ …. “P.l.e.a.s.e use an old sponge’ …. but I would just stop at the sink and take the sponge from the counter rather than going to the container in the utility room to find an old one when I was working on my car and needed one. WHO KNEW that sponges cost over A BUCK a piece? Seriously, Mom? I went to the store the other day and started to buy a pack of sponges. The pack was … like SIX BUCKS … and had …. like FOUR SPONGES in it and I’m thinking, ‘WHAT? SIX DOLLARS for S.P.O.N.G.E.S??’ “
For almost a year and a half I tried to get him to move out. I LOVE my son, but it was time for him to be on his own. He turned 23 this summer. He has a car and a motorcycle and a good job. Glory has been gone for several years, but James? He was in no hurry.
He didn’t always do what I asked of him … when I asked. But, he was a grown man so I didn’t feel I could discipline him. Paying me rent just wasn’t enough. There is more to “pulling your weight” in a household than simply offering money. The only way he would figure out just.what.it.takes to keep a house running
would be for him to have to run his own.
And so, I gently pushed. I gave him a few ultimatums
that I caved upon.
It’s hard to stand firm
when you are standing alone.
But, he finally made the leap.
He found an apartment in the same apartment complex as his sister. It’s so exciting to me that they are so close. For years, they did not get along. But, when they began life guarding together, they became friends. And each year since then, they have become more and more close.
They talk almost every day. They visit each other. Glory will say, with a *sigh,* “I love my brother. He’s my best friend.” And you can see it all over her face. She means it.
James stops by to pick up packages that are delivered here (he’s always working on some sort of repair to his car) and to check on Smudge from time to time. I knew we all called Smudge “James’ cat” … but I didn’t realize that Smudge would have also called himself James’ cat. Since moving out, the Smudge-man is quite lost. He follows me around the house. He follows me up to the park where I stretch before a run. I have to “shoo” him home before I leave the park … lest he follow me further? He meows at me when I enter a room. He finds me to ask for attention by walking across the desk or jumping into the chair where I may be seated. This is WAY out of character for him. I didn’t realize just how much attention James gave him … until he left the house. I know he misses James.
Last week, James stopped by and
upon leaving said, “I had no idea
how much I took for granted.”
That’s really all I needed to hear.
Those are the words that I have been waiting for.
He now realizes there are many more details
to running a household
than he previously realized.
I’m so thankful that James has moved out.
I’m thankful because I didn’t want him to go from
my house into marriage without an “in between” where he would learn
how to be in charge of his home with all the responsibilities involved there.
I’m thankful because he’s learning to appreciate things
that he has taken for granted.
And, yes, I might also be slightly thankful
because he’s not here to bump down the air conditioning thermostat in the summer.