She usually cried once a day

When I am out and about, I find so many beautiful wares …
rusted nails that were destined to hold together wood,
glass that once entombed a beverage or liquid,
or some fragment of nature … lifeless but still stunning.

When I run on the tow path – the dirt trail that meanders beside the Savannah River –
I often find rocks or leaves, twigs or debris
that I want to bring home.
One Saturday morn last year, I gave myself permission to walk the last mile of the trail
and gather up goods as I traveled.

vines - twisted and twirled

 

These sticks and vines were part of that morning’s find.
They are not from the same plant, but I fused them together to look like they are from one in the same.
For months, they sat on my mantle gently bathed in late afternoon sunlight,
offering me inspiration to get moving towards the project stirring mind.

I don’t remember where I first saw these words,
but I remember that the saying resonated with my being.
I remember that I cried.
I typed them out and taped them to edge of the frame that I intended to use to house my work.
People would come over and I would share my idea
but couldn’t read the entire phrase without choking up … again and again.
Now that the project is finished, the snippet of paper hangs over my stamp table.

I used to be highly emotional … very happy or very sad.

Once I identified my chocolate allergy and eliminated chocolate from diet bout twelve years ago,
I settled into a much more even keel emotional state.
( ^ THIS is a good thing ^ )
Struggles in past relationships also affected my allowing myself to “feel” deeply.
I intentionally suffocated my deep happiness, passion, pain or sadness.
It is so much safer to be the vanilla bowl of cold ice cream
than it is to live your life true to yourself
when you know in your heart that you’re
a banana split with whipped cream, nuts and cherries!
( ^ Living stunted but “safe” is NOT a good thing! ^ )


Sometimes I miss the passion. I want to soar free again …
What good is life if we live in fear …. where we are always safe … never taking a risk
……  forever careful of being “too much” for those around us?

We do no favors when we live this way.
God continues to talk to me about this.
Will I break free of the “fear of man?” … and let Him define who I am and who I am becoming? 


So, one afternoon, I grabbed my tools and pieced together this art work that now hangs in my home.
It speaks from my heart
though Brian Andreas  penned the sentiment.

It has a little bit of many things that I love …
layers of paper collage ….
sticks and vines … tangled and now inseparable ….
poignant words conveying a message of the beauty in the world …
texture …. leaves …. vintage memories ….
and a repurposed, aged wooden frame. *sigh*
She usually cried - Brian Andreas

This world of ours is truly so rich and beautiful!
We are surrounded by gorgeous people with intricate personalities,
a remarkable creation of deep texture, enchanting color and complex sound.
May you take the time to notice the grand and the small
and be moved to tears often
by the stunning beauty around you.

Look for the beauty! Feel it! See it! Listen to it!
Step from behind the “safe” place and feel the passion within.
Share it with others … and soar ….
even if stirs you to tears.

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3 thoughts on “She usually cried once a day

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