Mother’s Day Comfort

If you are living, Mother’s Day touches your life.

Whether male or female, you have, at some point, had a mother. And if you’re a woman, you may also be a mother (and if you were a mom but are now childless, losing a child doesn’t mean that you are no longer a mother, it just means that you no longer have the opportunity to parent).

The problem is that Mother’s Day can be so deeply painful for so many people.

In the past, I have attended churches that passed out flowers and gave gifts during the Mother’s Day Sunday morning service. I learned ….
to dread those mornings …
and even find a reason to not attend.

Because every carnation held in the hand of an openly proud mother
causes deep pain and regret for the women around her whose hands are empty
because they have not yet had a child,
they have given up a child,
they have lost a child,
or they haven chosen to end a pregnancy.
These women … are often … nearly … or completely … invisible
right there beside us.

Carnations draped in light

The Mother that is applauded for having the most children
reminds the woman who deeply desires children but has had none,
God hasn’t answered her prayers.
She wonders why she is not favored.

The Mother who has traveled the greatest distance to visit her children
is an open wound for the daughters and sons who have a mom around the corner
who will not speak to them…
and refuses to visit
because she is angry, hurt or just too busy.

The youngest Mother in the congregation that is asked to stand
reminds that young teenage girl that
she would have been the youngest mother there
had she not chosen to abort her child
…. or even been forced or coerced to do so.

Carnations in sunlight

And then there is the daughter or son who lost their mother recently ….
days, weeks, months or even years ago …
but the pain is so great that it still haunts their soul.

I learned to avoid church on Mother’s Day. Or at least make sure that the church that I attended didn’t have such fanfare.

But, it’s still a little bit difficult to watch on Facebook …
because I know there are so many souls that ache.

So, I just wanted to offer a {{hug}}, if your soul cries out.
If you have lost a mom and miss her dearly,
know that there are others who weep with you.
If you are one of those that sits barren,
know that others have shared your pain. You are not alone.
If you are a mom, but you don’t have a good relationship with your children,
there are those who understand. You are seen.
If you have lost a child to miscarriage, sickness or accident,
others ache along with you. Others know that that his or her little life
was important. And they are missed.
And if you made a desperate decision to end a pregnancy
and you feel guilt or remorse,
know that all you need do is ask and you will be forgiven.
Just as important as asking for forgiveness ….
I beg you to also forgive yourself.
Give yourself the permission to heal from that wound.
We all make decisions that we later regret.
If this is one you have made and regret,
please forgive yourself.

On this beautiful Mother’s Day,
if you find it hard to enjoy ….
may you search and  find a way to celebrate.
If you have children, celebrate all the learning that came from being a mom.
Or celebrate the goodness of your own mother …
the kindness of someone who acted as a mother ….
or the guidance of someone who loved you like a mother.
Search for and focus upon the ways to be  thankful.

Matthew 5:4  Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. (NIV)

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