You’ve heard phrases like “Bad company corrupts good character” and
You become like the five people you spend the most time with.
These are true in friendships,
but think of how much more like they apply to marriage.
Snoopy and Charlie Brown get it right here on this pin:
It’s not where you go in life, it is who you travel with.
Marriage is the uniting of two spirits.
“The man said,
‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.’
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife,
and they become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:23 & 24)
I hear …
if he is a liar, I will be influenced to become one …
if he is a gossip, I will be transformed into one ….
if he is self-centered, I will be pulled towards self-centeredness …
if he enjoys porn/speeding/stealing/gambling/you name the weakness _______________ …
being in his presence will be tempt me to embrace that activity.
Of course, we can fight this and resist …
but I can at least say in my own life, I refuse to spend my days “fighting” and “resisting.”
These relationships are exhausting. Run away from them.
I will choose friendships and relationships that
reinforce my good character and bolster my strength to push away the bad.
I love the question, “When you are with him, does he make you a better you?”
THAT is the ultimate test in friendship.
I really don’t think we will fully understand the depth of this intimacy and connection,
but the longer I live, the more vividly I see the integration.
When I first saw this video, I thought about marriage ….
the intertwining and merging of spirits
and how one soul influences another.
We THINK we stand alone,
but like these metronomes,
we are influenced by the movement, rhythm and balance
of those around us.
The New York Times reported in this article from a study by University of Michigan,
“The increase in facial similarity results from decades of shared emotions,
according to Robert Zajonc, a psychologist at the University of Michigan, who did the research.”
It happens in the physical world
and I believe it happens in the spiritual world … this entangling.
In many ways, the physical world is given to us as a tangible representation
of the unseen, spiritual activity that operates behind the veil of earth and flesh.
Our denial or disbelief void the spiritual laws no more than
denying gravity’s existence will allow us to float rather than stay grounded on earth.
I watch in wonder.
I think about those that are in my inner circle.
I think about those who have walked out.
I’m thankful that I know that my life is rich in people
who offer a strong, positive influence on my life
for good, for reaching higher, for becoming stronger, more honest and more authentic.
I have said it before: Choose carefully.
Choose your everyday friendships carefully,
but, most important … choose your spouse carefully.
Because …. two become one.