Just Enough

I do that thing that I do. I put off buying.  I don’t like to spend money.
I created artwork on the front of my personal calendar as a reminder;
Money … like time, can be spent  any way you want … but it can only be spent once.
But, we are out of creamer, near the end of toilet paper rolls and I must buy lunchbox food.
I have vegetables for evening meals, but I need a package or two of meat.
Meat is expensive. I will be careful.

My personal calendar


It is a chilly evening. I’ve been out for hours and I just want to go home.
I pull into the parking lot and look for a spot on “my row.”
I always park in the same row at stores that I frequent.
It makes it easier for me to find my car upon my exit.
I always know which direction to walk and the general area where I will find my car.
Once less thing to remember is always a good thing.

I know exactly what I need to purchase. My funds are very limited.
The other day, a magnet got too close to my ATM card and deactivated it.
I don’t carry or write checks so, until my new card comes, I only have a little bit of cash.
I am thankful.

I pull out my money and count carefully. I have a twenty, a ten, two fives and ones.
Forty seven dollars with change. That is my limit.
I don’t write down the cost of each item, but I mentally add as I load my shopping cart.

I make my way through the store as quickly as I can.
James will be home from work soon.
My Joy is already there. I have not seen her since she arrived home from school.
Glory has been on an adventure out-of-town and is home from her trip.
I miss them. I want to hurry.

Then I see a friend.
Lorin is dear to my heart. I have known her almost as long as we have lived in Augusta.
My Glory babysat for her littles for years. She lives around the corner.
I adore her children … and have watched them grow .. and mature.
Lorin & Soph
I photographed her family over Thanksgiving.
She is a breath of fresh air ….
there in the store. I hug her neck and thank God and breathe.
I needed to see her.

In front of the lunch meat refrigerator, we catch up.
I don’t want to linger long, but we share
and I am thankful. I breathe deep and soak in this rare pleasure
of fellowship with a kindred heart.

Heading to the check-out, I choose the self-checkout line.
I can choose the order to add my items, watching the amount as I go.
I have a roast and pork chops. If I must, I will leave the pork chops behind.

One by one, I run the UPC stickers past the scanner. Praying as I scan,
my twenty-something total jumps to thirty-two
when I add the roast.
I wonder if I will be forced to leave behind the second package of meat.

But, this is not a first. This is not the first time I have counted dollars
and known things would be close.
I have watched time and again .. and seen God allow me to have the right amount
with just a bit to spare.

It doesn’t happen when you use a debit or charge card.
It happens when you deal in cash.
And it happens in the day-to-day in the physical world
when you know your limitations
and you know what is expected of you
and you live life on your knees
asking him to fill in the gaps
and make up the difference.


Money left over


I was at the end. Pork chops were the last scan.
I counted my money one more time.
$5.85 went across the scanner.
My total was $47.27.
Every.single.bill would be spent.
I checked my change pocket.
Yes. I had enough.
I choose to finish and pay.

Without counting precisely,
I was able to buy the items I needed …
every item I had placed in my buggy
and walk away with surplus money.
I am amazed … again.

The amount I owed

If I was a rich woman, I wouldn’t call on Him to provide.
If I had a partner who did the “hard” things around the house, I wouldn’t call on Him when I became afraid.
If I had a car that worked perfectly, I wouldn’t hold the steering wheel and ask Him to drive me there.
If I had more, I wouldn’t recognize my need for Him.
And so, I am thankful.
I am thankful for .82.
It is my reminder that He provides … along the way … just enough, plus some  … day by day … every day.

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