The last few years have been SO good for me. God has certainly taught me lesson upon lesson upon lesson.
One of the hardest to learn has been to be okay with being myself.
To be myself means being okay with not being liked by everybody. I’ve always been a people-pleasing, people-loving people-person. For me, those things were inseparable. I loved because I needed to feel loved. I wanted people to know that I loved them because I needed people to let me know that they loved me. I wanted to please others so they would not be reject me. My goodness … just writing those things exhausts me today. One of God’s lessons has been that everybody isn’t going to love you and that’s okay. As odd as it sounds, He’s taught me to say “I don’t care.” He has reminded me that He loved everybody, but He didn’t please everybody.
And since I am fearing rejection less, I am becoming more bold.
(*whispers* it’s so exciting ….. )
So, when the time came to hang artwork at a local coffee shop for a second showing, I began to pull quotes from my folder at home and harvest them from quote sites and scan my pins on Pinterest …. until I had enough to fill a wall with artwork.
I layered paper and paint and texture and tissue
and fiber and jute and sticks and rocks and stamps
and vintage penmanship … and created a whole wall of art
that felt more like adorned, creative notes to myself
hanging in a public showing.
and a jewelry board that was made more recently from assorted old knobs and a vintage chair part.
As I have looked at all the pieces hanging, I see some things that are consistent. I’m finding the more that I create, the more similarities I see in my work. I work almost exclusively in autumn colors. My work is always layered in some fashion. And I use lots of pattern and texture.
I have recently had a realtor come to my home to discuss putting it on the market.
After spending some time chatting,
he pointed out that my house is “too brown.”
My fabulous first thought was, “No, it’s not. It’s perfect.”
Of course, he was speaking from a selling stand point,
and I knew that.
And I was responding with my heart.
I LOVE all the autumn in my home. I love my furniture, rugs and tablecloths.
I treasure my bedding, artwork and curtains.
I adore my artwork, practical creations and clothes.
And when he said that my world was “too brown” ….
rather than thinking,
“Oh, no! Really? Well … I should add more color! What can I change?”…
I am proud to say that I comfortably knew,
“It IS brown, and it’s perfectly, wonderfully beautiful! I LOVE it!”
I knew in my heart that I couldn’t truly make any big changes (because of financial restrictions),
so I began to decide how we could get around the “too brown” thing.
So, if you’re out and about in Augusta
and you’d like to see some brown artwork (with other autumn colors thrown in),
feel free to stop by Inner Bean on Davis Road. It’ll be hanging for a few more weeks.
Read the little notes that I wrote to myself and hung on their gracious walls.
And know that I’m pretty proud of how I’m finally becoming okay with just being me …
brown, layered, textured and intricate.
It’s a good thing.
I hope you’re finding that same boldness.
I hope that you’re comfortable in your own skin.
Some people seem to reach adulthood without struggling in this area.
I am not one of those people.
If you’re struggling, figure out why
and work to untangle those gnarly ties that keep you bound.
It takes a while to become free, but you can do it.
If I can do it, you can do it!
It’s a good thing to
…. just be yourself.