I’m a poser

For years now, it has felt like life has just been
plain hard.
The responsibilities of being a single mom
when layered with ….. well …… #allthethings
…. it’s just been tiring.
Like many single moms, I’ve felt overwhelmed and exhausted.

But,
one.at.a.time ….
God has allowed several of the responsibilities
that I have had
to finally
be r.e.l.e.a.s.e.d. 

The change in weight
from my mind and heart
is more than I can explain
with mere words.

Every passing day feels  :: l i g h t e r ::.

It is a very welcome change.

So ….
I have just recently decided
it is time to stretch.
I’m ready to step out of my comfort zone.

Since my divorce,
I have participated in several “stretching events”
that are physical.
I participated in
a Warrior Dash, a half-marathon and a Sprint Triathalon.

But …. I’m ready to step out emotionally
and face some challenges
that make me test my boundaries in a different way.
I want to do some hard things
that make me explore
WHY I consider the activity to be hard.

I began a list of things
that make me uncomfortable
but spark my interest.
You know the things.
They’re different for all of us.
We are intrigued by them

but fear holds us back. 

 ….  oh, fear.  we’ve been friends for SO long now  ….

My goal is to do one thing that makes me uncomfortable
each month
for the next year.
That means 12 scary things!

I have a friend who recently told me about her stint as a nude model.
::trembles:: Uhm. Yeah. THAT would definitely make me uncomfortable.
Sitting bare and exposed
before intently staring eyes
that must look closely and examine
in order to transfer
what they see with their eyes
through a brush or pencil or stick of charcoal
to a flat, bare surface of paper.

That conversation sparked my curiosity.

So, this past Tuesday evening,
I went with a friend to Columbia, SC
to the Columbia Museum of Art.
I posed as a model for About Face.
About Face is a group of talented artists
that meet every other week
to practice their craft
through drawing or painting a live model.

I wasn’t nervous.
I sat for four segments of 25 minutes
with a five minute break between each segment.
I chose what to wear and how to sit.
It was SO much fun!

This piece was created by Alice, the artist in blue in the photo above.

And this is Tran.
Look at his work!

And the ever generous, sweet Barbara Yongue
actually offered me her work in charcoal.

Tuesday was my first chance to meet with the group
and try my hand at sitting still
for two hours.
NOT an easy task for me.
Tuesday night was the first time in years and years
that all eyes in the room have been on me.
Another out-of-the-ordinary sensation.
Tuesday night was preparation.

I go back in two weeks
to pose nude.
Let the new stretching begin.