Roaches in cereal

We live in the deep south. We live in an established neighborhood full of trees.  “Palmetto Bugs” live in trees. Call them what you want; “Palmetto Bug” is just another name for the American Cockroach.

I don’t like them, but I don’t scream and jump up on a chair when I see one. My Drama Child? She screams. It’s a blood-curdling scream, usually accompanied by a huge leap backward with arms thrown up to the face. If she locates an escape route, she barrels out of the room, down the hall and into her room with a *SLAM* of the door (because we know that palmetto bugs chase people, right?).  The man/child? Well, he used to act like a girl when he saw one, but now he and Glory both find a way to kill it and move on.

James loathes spiders, but he’s a ninja when it comes to roaches. I’ve seen him don a mask and black clothing while he goes on a hunt, stalking quietly until the enemy is at close range. At times, James knows that swatting it with a flyswatter would create too much noise and the buggy would just get away, so he has found more creative ways to get rid of these pests.  He has been known to trap them in a cup (taking lessons from the Master Spider trapper/hater, Zack Scott who has mad skillz…you really need to watch this video) or under a dish and then move it outside in the middle of the driveway …. where it will be an easy kill as it runs across the ground.   He will then quickly
UN.COVERS.IT and
*BAM*
…. bug is dead.
He’s my hero: creative and quick. Yay, James!!! (I wonder if Zack is a roach killer or saver? I dunno…)

Don’t get me wrong, we don’t have them inside our home by the dozen. We see them more often when there is rain outside or a strong change of weather. But, on the average, we see one every few weeks.  We have an exterminator come and that has helped. But, unless he climbs all the trees that are close to the house and canopy over it, we simply won’t completely eliminate “palmetto bugs” from our home.

So, I figure, if we’re going to have roaches, let’s make this fun, right?

All the kids in the house have been hoarders at one time or another. With three kids in the house, any delectable, trashy treat that comes in the house is going to be devoured quickly.  James has been known to hide boxes of microwave popcorn in his room. Joy has a stash-spot that she hides her Easter or Fall candy.  And Glory has been known to have a bottle of Dew on her chest of drawers. Don’t get me wrong – these food items are sealed, closed and in clean containers.  We rarely, rarely see a bug anywhere other than the main living/kitchen area.

But, Glory …. well, she left herself wide open for a prank.  Before moving out, she bought herself a box of Cap’n Crunch,  took it to her room and kept it there. One morning, after she finished her bowl of sugar-laden, sugar-filled, sugar-coated breakfast, she left the box open. I saw this as an opportune time to slip a bug into her box, since we know that roaches will find food that’s available. Right?  The little guy looked incredibly convincing.

Later she admitted that she saw him before she poured herself another bowl of cereal and began to pour KNOWING that he was an impostor
. . . . .  then the thought occurred to her,
“Uhm…..
I wonder if he’s a REAL roach?”
So, she didn’t drop the box and run out of the room screaming, but I did “get” her.
She had second thoughts when she saw him.

We have a handful of these fake little guys.  They all look very real.  Back when I was still enjoying chocolate, I can vividly remember finding one in the Nesquik container and being scared silly….scream and all!!   They have been dropped into dark tinted drinks like soda. They have been left in bathrooms, drawers and on plates on the kitchen counter. At times, I have kept one in my purse … you know …. just in case the perfect time arose to trick someone.

So, if you take me up on the offer to stop by sometime, don’t be surprised if you spy a bug in my house.

Chances are – he’s a fake.

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