Oh my goodness. It feels so good to sit at my desk
and open a browser on my laptop.
Four or five months ago, I made the executive decision to disconnect our internet. Things had become more and more tight financially and I decided that surfing the internet freely wasn’t a necessity. I have a friend who let me use her connection to pay bills once a month. And Joy and I used the library or a close-by Starbucks or Chick-fil-a when we needed extended use.
I’ll have to admit that there are things about being detached that were not pleasant. I didn’t like feeling so disconnected from news – local and world-wide. And my reply speed to email and Facebook conversations slowed down to a two or three-day response time. Oh, how I missed the daily visual inspiration that Pinterest offers me!
But, for the most part, I was surprised at how much I accomplished when I wasn’t distracted by the endless information and entertainment found on the web.
This acceptance that I was overextended financially came with the realization that I needed to leave my home of ten years. I just couldn’t afford to remain any longer. That home was the first house that we bought after having children. It is the home that my children and I lived in for the longest period of time. It was the home that I chose to remain in after the divorce, because I thought that the upheaval of a move would be too much turmoil and unrest for those of us left behind in our home.
I’m very glad that I stayed.
Sifting through 25 years of marriage and 30 years of adulthood while guiding two grown children and a teenager to choose what to keep and what to release was quite a feat. There were tears. There was frustration. It was tough. I know that I made the right choice to do it five years after the divorce rather than the months immediately following it.
This morning, I sit at my desk and marvel. We’ve been here since March 1st. Sixteen days in and we’re settling in well. In many ways, things are better than they have been in years. My responsibilities have been cut greatly and I feel the weight lifted physically and emotionally. We have downsized by a great deal and I am not longer a “home owner,” but rather a “tenant.” If something breaks, I CAN fix it, but I don’t HAVE to fix it. This change is monumental.
So, I sit and drink my coffee and check my email from home in my pjs. I hear my youngest’s Nickelodeon alarm clock play reveille while I type here. And my Smudge, my kitty, sits in my lap while I check my Facebook inbox.
And I’m thankful.
I’m thankful for home internet connection.
I’m thankful that I was put in a position to make a tough decision that my kids wouldn’t like, but I stood my ground.
And I’m thankful that I had a break and realized just how much time I have wasted on the web.
There must be balance.
And just in case my photo above offers an unbalanced idea of what my desk looks like …..
this is the other half of the desk.
So, a home internet connection
in our lovely new domicile
makes me happy this morning!
What makes you happy this marvelous Monday?